Big Win: Thanks to Trump, Stocks are Now Super Affordable

Everything is Falling Apart and That’s Exactly Why This is the Most Beautiful Time to Invest

Wall Street is in shambles. Retirement accounts are spiraling into oblivion. But let’s focus on the real win here: tech stocks are now incredibly affordable!

Over the past few days, the stock market has dramatically declined. Major tech stocks like Apple, Amazon and Tesla are plummeting rapidly. And the best part? The person you can thank for this discount bonanza is none other than Donald Trump.

With some extremely well-thought-out public statements, the US president managed to send the entire market into a full-scale meltdown. For those who have long dreamed of owning Google stock, it’s starting to look a lot like a clearance sale.

“This is amazing news,” said 29-year-old aspiring investor Greg Walters. “I’ve been waiting for Tesla stock to dip below $200, and now it’s almost there! What a perfect time to get in on the action.”

For years, financial experts have said the stock market was overheated and “due for a correction.” The magic touch of Trump-induced chaos corrected it into the absolute dirt. If this trend continues, shares of Meta will soon be available at the low, low price of a cup of gas station coffee.

Of course, some people will say this market crash is bad news. They point to things like retirement accounts evaporating. They also mention the general destruction of wealth.

Whatever. For those looking to snag some bargain-priced stocks, this is a golden opportunity!

So, grab your wallets, everyone! Tech stocks are finally cheap enough to buy at a discount! ■