Newswire
NASA Confirms Asteroid Has Promising Chance of Wiping Out Citywide Human Suffering
Asteroid 2024 YR4 may impact Earth in 2032, sparking hope.
POV
Reaffirming US Independence by Withdrawing from the World Health Organization
US withdraws from WHO, citing unfair funding and pandemic response.
Advice
How to Start Running Even If You’re Only Doing It to Stop Your Body from Rotting
Running delays body deterioration despite its painful nature.
POV
I'm Undergoing Treatment for Cancer, Ya Malicious Wankers
Princess Catherine drops the posh act, reveals battle with illness. Press, stop being knob-jockeys. Fighting for life is no cake-walk, you bad eggs!
POV
I Quit as Horseman of the Apocalypse
Famine resigns from the Apocalyptic Quartet, citing bureaucratic frustrations.
Newswire
Minister Declares Nation Thriving
Ministry affirms national stability, dismisses foreign misinformation claims.
Newswire
A Most Earnest Declaration on the Virtuous and Wholesome Practice of Marking Houses, Which Alone Shall Sufficiently Defend Against the Present Pestilence
Red cross serves as the sole defense against plague's spread.