What Really Happened at the 5th Philippine Blogging Summit: A Minute-by-Minute Account
A stiletto is thrown, a Glock is drawn, and turnout exceeds expectations.
The event brought together hundreds of bloggers for a day of learning, networking, and restraint.
| Noppadon Eruera Staff Southeast Asia Writer |
8:43 — The first blogger to arrive discovers the Malcolm Theater doors are still locked. He spends the next 14 minutes drafting a scathing post about event mismanagement, then deletes it after receiving his free tote bag.
8:57 — The predominantly Roman Catholic attendees rise for 23 seconds of opening prayer and collective mumbling. Three atheist bloggers remain seated while pretending to search for something in their bags.
9:12 — A brief territorial dispute erupts over electrical outlet access near the back rows. The conflict is resolved when both parties realize neither brought a laptop charger.
9:31 — Tech blogger Carlo Ople references Star Trek: The Next Generation during his opening remarks, eliciting muted appreciation from several dozen attendees who will later describe themselves as "enthusiasts, not Trekkies" when questioned by spouses.
10:11 — Pampanga-based blogger Roy audibly grumbles that he endured a grueling two-hour road trip from his province to Quezon City, and all he gets is a sandwich and a Doypack of orange juice. He eats both within four minutes.
10:23 — Travel blogger Jen Juan catches a male attendee surreptitiously looking at her cleavage during a 15-minute intermission. The man later claims he was reading her lanyard.
10:33 — A coalition of grammar enthusiasts heckles vlogging speaker Kring Elenzano over a typographical error in her slideshow presentation. The word definately appears in 72-point font.
10:34 — Elenzano responds by removing her stiletto heel and hurling it at the group, narrowly missing one heckler's eye. The rest of the crowd applauds. A moderator retrieves the shoe during a brief recess.
10:52 — A lifestyle blogger announces she has accumulated 47 business cards but has yet to actually speak to anyone. She continues collecting.
11:15 — Legal blogger Atty. JJ Disini and columnist Dean Jorge Bocobo engage in an increasingly heated debate over obscure publishing legalese. The discussion culminates in a dare to "settle this" at a nearby coffee shop after the summit. Neither will attend.
11:44 — The WiFi password changes unexpectedly. Eight attendees independently announce this on Twitter using mobile data they swore they wouldn't use.
12:14 — Mommy blogger and session timekeeper Noemi Lardizabal-Dado raises a piece of paper notifying speakers Winston Almendras and Coy Caballes to conclude their lecture on blog promotion strategies.
12:16 — The speakers continue. Dado hoists the wrap-up sign a second time, adding an underline.
12:19 — The timekeeper scribbles something on the paper and raises it again. Almendras briefly makes eye contact, then looks away. Caballes does not notice.
12:20 — Dado calmly extracts a .45-caliber Glock pistol from her handbag and places it on the desk beside the sign. She maintains eye contact with the speakers.
12:21 — Dado walks to the side of the stage and disconnects the microphone plug. She announces an hour-long lunch break. The speakers offer no objection.
12:47 — Three bloggers discover they have been live-tweeting the same panel using nearly identical commentary. They unfollow each other silently.
13:18 — A veteran blogger approaches a newcomer and offers unsolicited advice about monetization for 22 uninterrupted minutes. The newcomer's lunch congeals.
14:22 — Tech blogger Carlo Ople poses a question to e-commerce organizer Janette Toral, referencing warp field dynamics as a metaphor for search engine optimization. Toral responds graciously while visibly calculating her remaining session time.
14:58 — In Cebu, some 570 kilometers away, Senator Mar Roxas accidentally bites his tongue for what witnesses estimate is the 16th time that day. Political blogger Kevin Ray Chua, speaking at the conference, has just mentioned his fan site to fellow Cebuanos in the Manila audience. The correlation is noted but unexplained.
15:27 — A panel on "Blogging Ethics" concludes after 45 minutes, during which six attendees were observed refreshing their affiliate marketing dashboards.
15:51 — Department of Science and Technology scholar Jehzeel Laurente and Dagupan City resident Mica Rodriguez spend the afternoon physically cutting low-tech business cards with scissors. The cards are printed on cardstock purchased at National Bookstore for ₱89.
16:02 — To the audible surprise of several audience members, prolific networker Mike Abundo poses a question to a speaker that contains no reference to himself, his projects, or his various web properties. He later clarifies this was accidental.
16:08 — Rodriguez sustains a paper cut from the business card trimming activity. She describes the glossy photo paper as "unreasonably sharp."
16:27 — A blogger who arrived at 14:15 attempts to join a group photo. He is politely but firmly directed to the back row.
16:40 — Problogging speaker Fitz Villafuerte advises attendees that writing about subjects people frequently search for, such as sex, pornography, and nude photographs, will substantially increase one's potential for advertising revenue. He adds that he does not personally recommend this approach. The audience takes notes.
16:58 — Organizer Janette Toral thanks sponsors and announces next year's summit. Three bloggers are already drafting their summary posts.
17:04 — Obligatory group photographs among assembled strangers commence. About 340 people who have not spoken to each other all day now stand shoulder-to-shoulder smiling.
17:11 — A blogger who spent six hours at the summit realizes he cannot recall the name of a single speaker. He will headline his recap post "iBlog5: A Life-Changing Experience."
17:17 — The last attendees exit Malcolm Theater. A maintenance worker discovers 14 business cards scattered beneath the seats and disposes of them without examination. ■
iBlog5: The 5th Philippine Blogging Summit was held May 9, 2009, at Malcolm Theater, UP College of Law, UP Diliman, Quezon City. Registration was free. Attendance exceeded expectations.
