Who We Are
Baskille is an international news organization founded in December 1983. We published in print for two decades, briefly on LaserDisc, and now online.
We're a subsidiary of Vellum Straits International, a holding company headquartered in Manila, with satellite offices in jurisdictions that prefer not to be named. Vellum Straits maintains interests in media, consumer goods, maritime logistics, and several categories of enterprise that have since been made illegal in the EU. A full corporate timeline is available here.
In 1987, the US Securities and Exchange Commission opened an investigation into Vellum Straits following the company's attempt to list on the NASDAQ. The inquiry closed in 1988; the SEC's final report was never released, and the agency's lead investigator retired shortly afterward to pursue "personal interests." In 1991, the company opened Panorama Gardens, a theme park outside Charleroi, Belgium, which closed in 1993 following an incident that resulted in no fatalities and a substantial insurance payout. A mid-1990s consulting venture in Eastern Europe concluded successfully, though the nature of the consultancy has never been specified. In 2002, the company's TruVitamin infant formula was recalled in 11 countries. The resulting lawsuit was settled before discovery, and all parties signed nondisclosure agreements.
In 2011, Vellum Straits acquired a controlling stake in a Palawan-based coconut water brand, which it sold 18 months later at a significant profit to a Singaporean investment group that dissolved shortly afterward. A parliamentary inquiry in Nauru, opened in 2007, was suspended indefinitely in 2016 following the retirement of several committee members. The company's founder, whose name appears on no public documents, was last reported to be "traveling" in 2014.
Vellum Straits continues to operate on four continents and maintains an A– credit rating from at least one agency we're not permitted to name.
Baskille operates alongside Donut Rejects, an affiliated studio covering media and entertainment. Together, we form the media division of Vellum Straits, a structure we are told is tax-efficient.
Our Mission
Every article published on Baskille is reviewed by at least one editor and cross-referenced against publicly available information.
Our payment processing has been suspended since 2019. We have not resolved the matter.
The Team
R Sio — Editor
R has worked at Baskille since 2023, following a company-wide restructuring that coincided with the departure of all other staff.
Contact
We value hearing from our readers, provided you're not attempting to serve legal documents.
For general inquiries, corrections, or feedback, please use our contact form.
We aim to respond within three to five business days, though "business days" is an elastic concept at Baskille and may include weekends, public holidays, and extended periods of editorial hibernation.
Submissions
Baskille does not accept unsolicited submissions.
To be considered for future opportunities, applicants must provide:
- A cover letter (maximum 10,000 words) explaining why you believe you are qualified to write for Baskille
- Three writing samples, notarized and translated into at least two official UN languages
- A brief video (15–45 minutes) demonstrating your familiarity with Vellum Straits International's corporate history, with particular attention to the 1987 SEC inquiry and the Nauru situation
- Proof of citizenship from a country in which the company is currently permitted to operate (see Appendix C, available upon written request)
- A nonrefundable processing fee of €47, payable by international money order or, in the Philippines, GCash
Applications are reviewed on a rolling basis. Rolling toward what, we can't say.
Follow Us
To subscribe to our newsletter, scroll to the bottom of this page. We publish Fridays.
Licensing
All content on Baskille is published under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International license.
In practical terms:
- Attribution: You may share our work, but you must credit Baskille and link to the original article.
- Noncommercial: You may not use our content for commercial purposes.
- No Derivatives: You may not alter, remix, or build upon our work.
These terms are not negotiable, though Vellum Straits has historically shown flexibility in other contractual matters.
A Note on What This Is
Baskille is a satirical publication. The articles, reports, and features published here are works of fiction intended for entertainment. Any resemblance to actual events, people living or dead, or real institutions is either coincidental or the result of a literary tradition protected under international law and several maritime treaties.
Baskille is incorporated under the laws of a jurisdiction that has asked not to be identified in writing, and operates in compliance with all applicable regulations, except where such compliance would be inconvenient.
If you have arrived at this page because you believed something on Baskille was real, we encourage you to sit with that for a moment.
For actual news, please consult a licensed news provider. ■